During our blogger’s get-together I received feedback from both Suzanne and Anja that they often miss seeing my body in my clothes. They like to see me more in figure enhancing clothes that especially highlight my waist.

Now, I’m all for figure flattery and clothes that highlight those parts of your body that you are most happy with. It’s an important part of my style courses as well as the many articles on this site.

But since I’m happy with most of my body, I don’t feel the need to highlight its thin parts or commonly considered ‘good’ aspects of my body all the time. I feel sexy and confident without highlighting them. I aim for flattering enough rather than just choosing the most flattering outfit.

Creating pleasing silhouettes


I like to dress in interesting silhouettes. I play with drapes, straight lines, asymmetry, A lines, loose tops, longer skirts, cropped pants. The advantage of a mainly rectangular shape is that I feel I can get away with all these different shapes.

I still apply the ‘rules of flattery’ most of the time. For example I will often wear tight with loose. If I don’t show my legs, I may show my arms. If the whole look becomes too overwhelming, I may use a belt.

Following your style persona

Would my body look more flattering and would I look more sexy with tighter tops, body hugging dresses and an emphasis on my waist? Definitely. And sometimes I will indulge in that too when I’m in the mood or there is a perfect occasion to do so.

But sexyness, a bombshell look and tight clothes are not part of my style personality. The important factors of that are fun, comfort, asymmetrical lines, architectural or unique shapes, natural fabrics and geometry.

I don’t like to show any cleavage.

If I do wear a low-cut top, I may not want to show so much leg. I like to keep it in balance.

I like to surrender my waist as seen below.


I don’t want to wear tight skirts that I can’t move in, so all my skirts have elastin.

I don’t want to wear shoes that I can’t walk in.

I like waisted looks but they tend to be hotter in warm Singapore so I feel more comfortable in looks that surrender the waist. That said, I still wear waisted looks on a regular basis too.


Your style is personal

What it all comes down to is that style is so personal. You cannot dress for others but need to mainly please yourself. Choose clothing that YOU feel comfortable and sexy in.

For some women those may be clothes that highlight sexy features like a generous bust, a small waist or sexy legs. For others it may mean that you are happy to surrender the waist and dress in a more arty way. If you want to see more of my latest style, you can check out the what I wore section of this site.

In my opinion you can just aim for flattering enough rather than just flattering.

How do you feel about this topic? Do you always dress to flatter your body? Do you want to look sexy?


p.s. Suzanne and Anja did indulge in dressing me in some body hugging clothes of Anja’s for the follow-up on my article How does it feel to wear someone else’s clothes, and you can see the results here!

p.p.s. To find out more about your own unique style I highly recommend my style course!


Sylvia is 40+style’s editor-in-chief and has been helping women find their unique style since 2011. An alumni of the School of Color and Design, she is devoted to empowering women of any age to look and feel their best. Read more about Sylvia and 40+style on this page.

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