Madonna, me and how we are supposed to age. What do you think?

by Sylvia

Madonna and how we should age
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One reason I like comments so much on this blog is that it leads to conversation and a sense of community on this blog, which I would very much like to increase even more. Another reason is that it gives me ideas of new posts as I want to respond in a more elaborate way. My post on how to dress the petite body type was inspired by Cath after leaving a comment on this post how to determine your vertical body shape.

Today’s post is inspired by The Fashionista who responded to my article on how to hide your belly. In her comment she writes ” My cousin claims that I refuse to get old or I am not acting my age. She believes being over 40 is an excuse for letting yourself go. I believe to the contrary. Do we have to put a little more efforts? Yes, we do but at the end of the day it’s all worth it. Poor Madonna is getting so much flack for being fabulous at 50, she is 10 years my senior and boy I sure wish I could move like her. She’s my hero!!”

She’s got a point. Even one of my favorite bloggers, Dorothy, wrote quite a negative post about Madonna  the other day.

So for what it’s worth, here is my opinion on the subject.

Although I do not feel that women should strive to stay or appear young at any cost, I DO believe that we need to work harder at feeling healthy and looking good. That is a choice of course (I’m not saying that you have to do that). Yes, it will be more challenging as your hormones will change, your body accumulates fat more easily and your muscle strength will go down. But as Madonna and many other women over 40 have shown, there are lots of things that you can do about that. And why wouldn’t you?

Accepting your age doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be willing to do some extra work to stay healthy. And I can guarantee you that it will take more work than when you were 20. So you can either accept that you will have all the weight gain, loss of muscle strength etc, or you can do something about it. Does that mean you don’t accept the aging process? In my opinion no. It just means that you want to age gracefully, in a a healthy way with a strong body, so you can keep on doing the things you’ve always done when you’re older. And yes, perhaps you want to keep your body looking good and your skin looking radiant, but there is nothing wrong with wanting that either.

Madonna does not get her svelte body and fitness by being lazy about her workout regimen. She is famous for doing daily yoga and strength exercizes as well as cardio exercizes to keep her fit. This takes strength and determination, which is something that Madonna has in spades. She did not start doing this when she was forty (in order to stay young), in fact she has been exercizing rigorously all her life. Perhaps she had to turn it up a notch after 40 to keep the same body, but to say that she just does it all just to look young would be untrue. I think that she does it to keep strong, to be able to do the concerts that she loves giving and yes, I’m sure she does it to look good as well. So if you feel that Madonna does not represent her age group then that would be correct. Most in her age group wouldn’t do this kind of training.

So you have a choice. You can choose to get active and take the necessary steps to get strong or you can let yourself go. If you choose the former, then here are some things you will need to do more of when you’re older:

  • You will need to do more strength exercizes to keep your muscles strong and protect your bones from breakage
  • You will need to do more cardio, so you keep your fitness and energy levels.
  • You will need to do more yoga to keep your muscles and joints flexible and again to prevent breakage.
  • In addition to more exercize (instead of less as so many of us do) we also need to eat less. Our bodies need less when they are older, so if you keep eating and drinking at the same rate that you have always done, you will always gain weight.
  • Then we will need to monitor our hormone levels. You can either choose to ignore them, or you can choose to rebalance them.

I’m sure there will be many more things that you will need to do, but I will not go into much detail here.

Now, of course the whole discussion about cosmetic treatments, surgery, botox etc. is yet another one and I will not go there (today). But keeping in shape and looking after your body the way Madonna does with her yoga and workout regime and putting in a performance with lots of dance and movement should only be applauded in my opinion. I don’t see why Madonna should get flack for doing that and should  instead ‘act her age’. To me, she is still someone I admire. I don’t think the super bowl show was her best and she herself knows that she is not the best singer in the world, but she always makes an effort to give us a show, to put in the hard work and to entertain us. That is a lot more than I can say of young Rihanna, who has a great voice but  whose concert was a total let down here in Singapore. And to attend a concert of Madonna is still on my bucket list. (there is a show coming up in Amsterdam; I’m going to try to get tickets!)

This blog’s main focus is not about keeping healthy and looking young. However, I do feel that looking after yourself in terms of your health and your strength, will make you an allround more strong, confident and stylish person, so I will touch upon this subject from time to time. I for one want to stay healthy and strong as I age and I have already taken some steps in that direction as I highlighted in my new years resolutions. What will you do?

Update: I did manage to get tickets for Madonna’s concert in Amsterdam. I wrote about my experience here and created several videos. Here is one of them. Also, don’t forget to check out the insightful comments below and leave your own!

How do you feel about how we should be aging? 

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Suzanne

This is a very emotional post. It stirs up a lot of feelings. I guess what bothers me most is why women would say negative things about other women. Madonna is a performer and has been her entire life. She has always been in fantastic shape so the people who accuse her of doing so now only out of vanity are saying what? That because she is 50 she should get fat and soft like “normal” people? I can not understand that way of thinking. Madonna is a confident woman. Sunday she got on a stage in front of millions of eyes the world over to put on a show – and she did not disappoint. She is brave and she is open minded and she is living her life. She is a singer, a dancer, an actress, and now she is a director – all while being a mom to 4 young children! She continues to grow and evolve. Gosh – she is over 50 so maybe she should be in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere instead of learning a new craft. I do not see articles saying Clint Eastwood or Harrison Ford should stop working because they are over 60. Mr. Eastwood is not fat or flabby – is he vainly trying too hard to be “young”? And who gets to decide that anyway? Who gets to say what 40 or 50 or 60 “should” look like? If a woman exercises, if she eats a healthy diet, if she dyes her hair, if she gets beauty treatments (whatever they may be), what concern is that to anyone else? You can say you don’t like her hairstyle, or that her make-up is too heavy, or her dress is too short or too tight, and that is your opinion but to say that she doesn’t look “her age”? No one has the right to say that. Is she setting the Bar too high for the rest of us? Good! We should thank her for that. I think she makes her own decisions and doesn’t care what others say about her. I admire that and want to be more like her. Especially when it comes to fashion. That does not mean I want to dress like Madonna – that means I want to decide what looks good on me and what colors and shapes and styles I want to wear – and I do not want to hear that I shouldn’t because of a number.

Sylvia

Very well said Suzanne. Couldn’t agree more!

thefashionistachic

Thank you Suzanne! I agree please see my other comments. We are on the same page! Also about fashion. I specialize in helping women develop their own style. If you are like Ebony the girls next door. Whitney my power corporate gal or Emicko my independent free spirit fashion is about self expression. Saying this is who I am.

Heather Fonseca

I was really impressed with madonna’s Super Bowl performance. I thought it was fun and entertaining (though I wish MIA had shown more respect to the viewers). I haven’t always been a big Madonna fan, but I’ve come to admire and respect her. I think she looks amazing and even thought her costume was great! It wasn’t trashy at all and was rather age appropriate For a pop singer.

None of that means I want to look like her. I’m impressed by her level of fitness but I know that until my kids are older the best I can do is for for a daily walk or jog. She has to spend a lot of time working out to look like that, but she needs to, it’s her job. I think what people really find offensive is that she’s sexy. Personally I think we women are often just jealous.

Sylvia

Thanks for your feedback Heather. I thought she looked good to. Her performance clothes are totally different from her day-to-day clothes, and she can look very elegant and ‘age appropriate’ as well as I highlighted in my dressing for the petite post. I have been a life-long fan of hers. I grew up with her! Don’t love all her records equally but her taste in music has evolved with mine. I wish I had more of her strength and fitness and will make an effort to improve it this year…

thefashionistachic

Please see my other comments but I think exercise is a huge factor diet is more important. Madonna probably forgoes the rich desserts and foods high in fat.

Sylvia

Yes, I think Madonna is VERY strict with her diet… No sugars I believe, which is anyway a very healthy thing to do….

Nanne

This really makes me sad. What is it that make otherwise smart, well-educated and resourceful women run down other women on account of not adhering to some kind of code or established assumption about how a woman should look and act at a certain age? In my opinion, Madonna is a truly self-made woman, she has an indisputable talent for business and she’s always stayed true to herself no matter the criticism from the public and media. If you don’t like her music, style or artistic persona – fine, but to criticize her for looking as good as she does and being fit and healty should be beneath our dignity as fellow women. I agree with Heather F that it’s probably jealousy. Personally I find it more important than ever to do my best to stay healthy through diet and regular exercise. Not to fight aging, but to age in the best possible way. And hopefully I will continue applying make-up, dye my hair, use good skin-care products and dress stylishly because it makes me feel good, no matter my age. Thanks for (yet another) excellent post, Sylvia!

Sylvia

Thanks for your feedback Nanne. “not to fight aging, but to age in the best possible way”. That sums it up for me as well!

Giulia

It is more than just aging. It is more like how you behave. I saw an interview and she was very arrogant. Once I see that, the person can look like a 14 year old but it doesn’t matter to me. How we treat others is more important.

Sylvia

Hi Giulla, Thanks for your input. Yes, Madonna can come across as arrogant sometimes. But it must be quite tough to deal with constant (sometimes rather silly) journalists all the time. But for sure, that kind of behaviour will make her quite a few “enemies”.

Shybiker

I applaud your successful effort in getting a conversation started: this is an important topic which should be discussed.

My experience is that the perspective of those in their forties differs from those who are older. In our forties, we’re still close to our youth and often clinging to its physical appearance. That seems more critical to us than our overall health. When you hit 50+, however, you realize that general health is far more important than the inevitable signs of aging. Having good health affects the quality of our lives more than whether other people still think we’re hot.

I think we can try to be youthful and healthy at any age and the key, as you note, is staying active. Being physically active slows down aging and makes you more beautiful at any stage in life.

Good post.

Sylvia

Thanks! You’re right, although I must say that I already notice some health issues now :( Being healthy in the end is what gives you the most quality of life and also makes you the most beautiful. So best to focus on that for the most part…

thefashionistachic

Shybiker I think it’s more important if WE think WE ARE HOT ourselves. I went 18 months eating clean. Meaning lean proteins and complex carbs for 18months straight. I cannot tell you how my skin glowed. Previously I was suffering from a reflux issue that disappeared. Shybiker I was in my best body!! In short I was HOT! But even more importantly I was HEALTHY. With this crazy back injury I have fallen off the wagon. But post like these inspire me to get back on the wagon train of health and fitness.

Anne @ the Frump Factor

I have no problem with Madonna doing whatever she wants, in order to achieve whatever goals she wants. The problem arises when the rest of us feel pressured to live up to her ideal. We are partly responsible for internalizing that pressure, of course, and we should stop! But the larger society does judge women very harshly, based on our appearance. So it’s understandable when we feel somewhat threatened that Madonna is held up as a model for successful aging.

As you point out, staying as youthful as she does requires a MAJOR investment in time. Many women can’t afford to do that, or we choose to prioritize differently. I think it’s great to admire models like Madonna as proof that aging doesn’t absolutely have to take a particular form. But I think it’s also important for all of us to put her in perspective.

Sylvia

Thanks Anne for your very thoughtful response. As you say we should never feel that we need to look like Madonna. Performing (and looking good) is a part of her job, so she will be able to spend a lot of time on working out. Most of us will not want to spend that amount of time. Nor should we feel pressured in any way by the media to do so and keep looking a certain way. What I just wanted to say is that she should also not be critisized so much for her desire to stay strong, fit and beautiful. She works hard for it. She deserves our admiration in that regard. We all just need to do what feels right for US. Then let other women make their own choices.

thefashionistachic

Anne I am so sorry but I totally disagree. If you are struggling with those types of pressures I think the root cause goes far deeper than the idea of Madonna. Wanting to be your best should stem from self love not because you would like to be just as good as someone else. What you are talking about is the egoic mind which causes all kinds of other issues. We as women should never judge each other in such a manner. In the Sex and Relationship section of my blog a younger women in her 20’s does the writing. She recently wrote a post about “Frenemies” A subject matter that plagues many women. The root cause of those types of conflicts is the same thinking you’ve displayed. Madonna only confirms what is possible. She doesn’t make me feel inferior she INSPIRE ME.

Regarding your comment about the time it requires to be healthy and fit, reminds me of Stephen Covey’s book “7 Habit’s of Highly Effective People.” The chapter called “The Physical Dimension”, Covey goes on to say, The physical dimension evolves caring effectively about our physical body. Eating the right foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation. Exercising on a regular basis. He says exercise is one of those high level activities that most of us don’t do consistently because it isn’t urgent. Because we don’t do it sooner or later we find ourselves dealing with health problems that comes as a natural result of our neglect. He goes on to say. “MOST OF US THINK WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO EXERCISE. WHAT A DISTORTED PARADIGM! WE DON’T HAVE TIME NOT TO. We are talking about 3 to 6 hours a week or a minimum of 30 minutes a day, every other day. That hardly seems like an inordinate amount of time considering the tremendous benefits. In terms of the impact on the other 162 -165 hrs of the week. I will stop there. I think you get my point. I can’t tell you the challenges I have with some of my acquaintances who subscribe to the same school of thought. That putting focus on ones appearance is superficial. No it’s not superficial at all. Its pride and appreciation for self.

Anne @ The Frump Factor

@thefashionistachic:
Well, perhaps my comments sounded more forceful or absolutist than I intended. I’m not saying we should let ourselves go. Exercise is crucial for physical and mental health, not to mention the self-esteem benefits. I exercise faithfully and would never urge anybody to let herself go. And I’m sure the egoic mind issues you raise are true. I’m not saying it’s right or healthy for people to feel these pressures, but I do think it’s somewhat understandable. In my own way, I think I was trying to say that we should NOT compare ourselves to Madonna.

Elizabeth

While I understand saying things like “It’s only 30 minutes a day, every other day” doesn’t sound like very much, for some people, that’s genuinely more time than they have. When I was a stay-at-home mom with a toddler and an infant and no childcare, sleeping 4 non-consecutive hours a night, I did NOT have an extra 30 minutes in my day. Anywhere. If I had, I would have taken a nap. (And yes, I tried to come up with creative ways to work out with the kids in tow. Never found anything that worked.) Would I have been healthier, physically and mentally, if I’d been getting a little exercise? Absolutely. And now that they’re a little older I work out almost every day and I am absolutely reaping the benefits. But when people used to say things to me like, “Oh, you just have to find the time,” it used to make me cry.

Sylvia

Hi Elizabeth, yes I can imagine that would have been frustrating. My point with this post was really that you don’t HAVE to work out, but that every woman can decide so for themselves. We should certainly not be judged whether we do or we don’t. Thanks for leaving your feedback!

Anne @ the Frump Factor

Just to add one quick point — I was rather inspired by Madonna’s performance: how great she looked and how athletic she still is. I enjoyed seeing that. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to say, “Oh, wow, why can’t I be more like her?”

Sylvia

I must say, a performance like that puts me back into gear. I want to be fitter and stronger, but always come up with excuses on why i can’t go to the gym. I know I will never look like Madonna (and I’m totally fine with that), I just want to be fitter and stronger so I can still play tennis when I’m 70 :)

Coelho and Chang

Being a certain age doesn’t mean that you do not care about your appearance anymore. Well at least not for us. It doesn’t mean that we exercise as rigorlously as Madonna (it is not our goal to have a body she has). Any kind of exercise is always good, whether it is just walking instead of taking the car or simply taking the stairs. Making an effort in your appearance, from experience, makes you feel better. For that you do not need to spend a lot of money. And yes there are often other priorities but shouldn’t we also think of ourselves? Madonna shows that no matter how old you are you can still be energetic, enjoy life and shine. Isn’t that what we all want?

Sylvia

Thanks for joining the conversation. Yes, totally agree!

Bella

I love that Madonna is constantly changing and improving herself, it works for her. I think the people that tend to put down woman that take the time to improve their quality of life are ones that might be jealous or threatened for some reason. (otherwise why would they talk about it?) Now that I am 41 I too have to put more effort into looking and feeling good. It is about me for me and the quality of life I want to have as I age, not vanity. Why do people think it doesn’t matter how we look after a certain age? Did you care when you were younger so you should care as you get older. Madonna is a entertainer so she needs to flaunt a bit more than I would but I say if you’ve got it flaunt it.
PS I just purchased my tickets for her concert and couldn’t be more excited!

Sylvia

Thanks for your input Bella. You already know I agree with you :) Oh, lucky you for succeeding in getting tickets. I spent more than an hour trying to only to be left empty handed. Very disappointed…..

mrs. eccentric

i’ve never cared for Madonna. But people getting on her case for staying in shape is just perverse. First, like you say it’s her job, and she also has the $$$ to pay for trainers, chefs, etc. to help her in this part of her job. So anyone with any sense is not going to take her as a realistic example.

But i do get disturbed by the way people use this as an excuse to push ‘let go, don’t exercise, eat crap’ and so on. Many people can function like this for a while, but especially as we age this type of lifestyle often results in health problems that will drastically restrict what you can do.

If we want to remain active and do what we enjoy thruout life we need to put attention to staying healthy and strong. That can be difficult enough without b.s. about ‘vanity’ and ‘looking too young for your age’. what a crock.

Thank you for calling it out (and sorry for the potty mouth)! steph

Sylvia

Thanks you for contributing to the discussion Steph. Of course I agree with you!

thefashionistachic

I am The Fashionista CHIC!! I am so glad my comment sparked additional conversation. What happens to mature women is that we become tired. Mentally it’s all to much. I have recently struggled with a back injury that is really kicking my butt. I am so annoyed because I’ve tried so hard to get back where I once was. Something in the back of my head says, “you are getting older, let it go!!” But I refuse to. I am over 40, but I don’t look like I am over 40. I am very proud of my youthful appearance. My primary business is wardrobe consulting. I have a package called. Staging Your Come Back! It brings tears to my eyes when I think of the lives that I have changed. How coaching my clients on how to add style to their wardrobe. How paying a little extra attention to your hair and makeup, elevates your confidence level. My 2nd stagers have the same attractive appearance they had in Act One but now in Act Two they also have the benefit of life experiences. For many it is like a rebirth. Many may think it is vanity but it truly is NOT. I cannot explain how positively ALTERING the OUTSIDE strongly impacts the INSIDE.

Sylvia

I agree of course. This is one of the reasons I set up this blog. I think that we need to remember though that everyone does that at their own level with their own personality. For example, I KNOW that I look better with some makeup on, but I prefer to focus on my clothes. It does not make me a whole lot happier when I do put a lot of makeup on. You should definitely get yourself out of a style rut, but everyone has to find their own balance that works for them when it comes to dressing, beauty and fitness / health.

Sally

I loved this discussion and must put in my thoughts. I am 63. 40 is a while ago. Currently I am down after arthoscopic hip surgery to repair the damage I’ve done through exercise. Why? So I can do some more. Yep, I like the way I look when I am fit. Do I expect to look anything other than a fit 60 something? No! I eat correctly, though sometimes not enough, so I am logging everything to address that. My goal is to stay healthy, mobile and vibrant both inside and out. Some folks don’t feel like working out 6 hours a week. Maybe they don’t have time. I have beautiful friends of all sizes and ages. We each are responsible for being the best person we WANT to be. Envy is not attractive.

Sylvia

Thanks for your feedback Sally. I’m hoping that that your surgery will go well, so you can get right back into your fitness regime!

WendyB

I’ve seen Madonna on every concert tour she’s done since 1985, and she’s been incredibly fit since the Blonde Ambition tour in 1990. When you see her perform, she really comes across as an athlete and I think her body should be judged on that basis. She’s building herself for endurance, not conventional prettiness. And she gets a lot of criticism for it, so unlike Anne, I don’t think anyone is holding her up as a role model.

Sylvia

I think she does inspire us. Even if we do only a quarter of what she does, it will already make us so much stronger. I’m so happy that I’ve finally managed to get some tickets for a concert and see her live!

sandra1345

I’ve never cared for Madonna even though I was a teen when she became a worldwide star. But I admire her being fit and radiant much better than I am in my 36th year.
I’d stopped exercising for three years in my early thirties when I had a health problem because of my stressful doctor life. Now I am again on the health train, I ski, I swim, I dive, I hike every two months. I exercise on Weekends. I eat less than before as I am approaching 40 in 3 years. I have thermage every few months to slow down skin aging. I really feel great, like I”m 28 years old again.. However my fitness and heath dragged a huge number of jealous and envious looks and that was above all my expectations. The nurses and other older or even younger colleagues are annoying me… But I don’t care… I am planning to stay like this till eighty. Since my health problem that lasted 3 years I promised myself again to not to work so much and to travel not only for sightseeing but to exercise in mountains, rivers and oceans…. Love you all… No numbers please ☺

Sylvia

Thanks for your story Sandra and good to read you are in such good shape again!

notgoinggently

What strikes me is this belief that somehow the way a particular woman decides to age should even be up for discussion. Or that wanting to continue being healthy and looking desirable (the side effect of which is often looking younger and fresher) is somehow wrong. Even if Madonna did start her training at 40 and even if she was/is doing it to keep looking young, so what? Young women look good, young women get attention, older women who look young keep their husband’s attention longer, older women who look younger feel better and are healthier. And the problem is? Who among us does not want to be as healthy and look as good as she can for as long as she can? Call it trying hard, or chasing your youth, or trying to “compete” with your daughter, etc., so what. I don’t care if people say that about me, bring it out. More often than not, it’s jealousy because there’s nobody who does not want to continue looking youthful and being healthy and living a fun life instead of laying down and waiting for death. When you give up on health, on fashion on sex appeal and all that for fear of what others will say, you have in effect given up on your life and are simply waiting passively to die. No thanks for me.

Sylvia

Thanks for your feedback. Very true. So long as we do it for ourselves and not to please others I believe. But every woman should choose for themselves what feels right for her, for sure.

notgoinggently

Staying fit as you age isn’t just about vanity, it’s about your overall health. Middle Age is the wrong time to just “let yourself go,” unless being a frail, elderly person living in a nursing home appeals to you. Working out helps slow the aging process. From WebMD:

“At this age, you get a widening of the field, as it were,” James Pawelczyk, an associate professor of physiology at Penn State University. “People who have been taking care of themselves are relatively insulated from those [aging] changes compared with those who haven’t.”

Madonna’s exercise and diet both play a role. By mixing cardiovascular activity, strength training, and flexibility exercises, she has minimized her risk of heart disease, preserved her bone density, and likely reduced her risk of breast cancer.

Sylvia

Excellent feedback. Thanks. Totally agree!

Genie Harris

The reason I get frustrated with Madonna is because she is a beautiful, and intelligent woman, who appears to be unable to let go of her youth. I applaud her for staying fit, but I am disappointed in her and so many others in Hollywood who homogenize themselves into something that looks like a resemblance of themselves at 20 or 30. If we are ever to change the perceptions of women aging as a graceful and acceptable (which men are allowed to do) process then the madness has to stop.

I look at Meryle Streep, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a few others out there who are fit and beautiful…but, yes, they are aging, and accepting it. You can see lines, graying hair, and an intelligence in them that is brightly radiating through their smiles. And they seem to be working and winning awards, I think that says something.

Remember “Something’s Gotta Give” with Diane Keaton? She looked fit and wonderful, and the whole premise of the movie had to do with finding love at an older age. Diane Keaton in the movie is obviously unbotoxed. Helen Hunt also did not follow the Hollywood model of removing every trace of aging. The movie “Soul Surfer” shows Helen bikini clad and fit, but no overdone breasts, and she looks amazing. My daughters are young teens now and they saw that performance with Madonna at the Super Bowl. They both looked at each other and said “Ewwwww”, “why is she doing this???” All of the friends took to twitter baffled by the performance. My girls do not understand why she is TRYING so hard to be sexy. My opinion is that Madonna is at her essence sexy…why layer on all the “stuff”, just be.

When I saw Madonna on a magazine spread a few years ago she seemed to look much more at peace. She was living in England and had all these beautiful vintage clothes on, and she looked radiant. She also looked wonderful in Ray of Light, an album she did and you could see was aging and she looked great. So it is not so much for me the fact that she is fit and fabulous, it is the look of her now that disheartens me and makes me think “Geez this super powerful woman could stop buying into this madness, and be a pioneer in allowing the women of our generation and beyond the power to age with grace and dignity”. Of course, I respect everyone’s opinion here, and do not want to denigrate Madonna in anyway, she has a lot to live up to. Many are absolutely right about the health benefits of Madonna’s lifestyle. However, we have a soul, spirit….we have energy and matter….these things come through in performances and interviews. Nothing says sexy more than “self awareness”.

Sylvia

Hi Genie, this is a very thoughtful response and I can totally see what you mean. I visited her latest concert and she put a lot of emphasis on the whole ‘sexy’ thing, even stripping on stage. So I can see your point about her needing to accept her age more, while at the same time I still admire her fitness. I think you are right that she looked more at peace with herself a few years ago. I love what you say: “Madonna is at her essence sexy.. why layer on all the ‘stuff’, just be.” If she did that, she could be be and look even more powerful.

Sleepless in Perth

This is a very sad reflection on how negative and sceptical women still are in this day and age (no pun intended). This is the year 2012. Science and research has proven a lot, and many people have proven so many other things too. Narrow-mindedness and restrictive thinking will always prove to be a failure in anything you endeavour. Why not have Madonna as a role model? Why not be a sex-bomb at 50? The reason most women are against the idea is that they were NEVER sexy even at the age of 20 and they KNOW if they can’t be sexy at 20, there’s no way in hell they can dream of being sexy at 50. So they criticise, judge and lecture others. Instead of admiring, supporting and applauding sexy and beautiful women. This is not about Madonna at any age or about ageing women. It’s all about women not being comfortable in their own skin to actually accept there are so many other more sexy, beautiful and wonderful women than they are. It’s a self-esteem issue. Whenever you find women talking about holding a man’s attention by physical appearance or youth, you know they are not and have never been truly loved. Girls, let it all go. Love yourselves and then you’ll find your beauty and sexiness naturally. Be the best you can be – it’s very hard work, but really you are worth it! Love yourselves and enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t you deserve the best? Once you permit yourself the chance of dreaming to be Madonna, you will understand that it’s not about ideals but about having and being the best with what you already have and that’s the only way to being the most wonderful woman you could ever be!

Sylvia

Thanks for your feedback. I especially like your last sentence. So true!

Sleepless in Perth

You’re welcome, Sylvia :) I love your positive attitude and hope you keep inspiring women. Only women give women a hard time – which is a shame. It’s hard being a woman. Harder to be a wonderful woman. My hope is that through blogs like yours, more women can finally understand that they are worth it, that it takes hard work to be and to look wonderful but they just can’t keep knocking it before they even try it because they must understand that if they don’t put any work into anything, then they get nothing. As the saying goes, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. It is a shame so many women are not permitted by society, cultural restriction and friends and family to dream if becoming fantastic in every way. What a wasted life to sit around and not try to improve yourself. The first step is to dream and if they don’t allow themselves to do that, then they can’t take the next step which is dream into action. Madonna or anyone fabulous can be the role model and women must understand that Madonna is nothing really special but she’s where she is and what she is through positive thinking, dreaming big, focussing on her dreams and goals and most importantly she’s put in the hard work. If only more women can see they are also capable of doing all this, there would be more fabulous and confident and wonderful women out there and less of the negative ones who just criticise other women and never improve themselves or their lives. Women who want to be loved by a man must understand that if they don’t try to be the best and put themselves first (like Madonna does), a man will never treat them that way either. And which woman doesn’t want a man or their husband to treat them as the best and put them first? :)

Sylvia

Well said. I will keep doing my best to make this an inspiring website for women.
It seems you are very passionate about this topic. If you want to write a whole article on this subject (being the best you can be and going after your passions), you could always submit it to me and I can see if I can publish it on the blog! You may also be interested in this article: http://40plusstyle.com/what-is-the-secret-to-looking-amazing-and-youthful-at-40/ which was written by one of my readers as well.

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