Does this happen to you? You dress up real nice for a party and you feel really good about yourself.

That is until you arrive at the party and immediately see a few others that look even nicer. Their shoes may be hipper, their outfit so cleverly put together or their silhouette so unique, you wished you would have thought of it!

Although you may still feel great about yourself, it was not as good as before you saw these people.

Why does this happen and what can we do about it?

I think many women, including myself, have a tendency to compare themselves to others. They do it with their looks, their bodies, their achievements and also with their clothes.

The danger is that when this behaviour becomes a habit, you will never feel good about yourself. Because there WILL always be somebody that is cleverer, thinner, younger, more fashionable or better looking than yourself.

You may be tempted to buy even more in the shops and always strive to wear something new whenever you go out.

So what can you do to stop comparing yourself to others and be happy with where you are right now?

  1. Admire the creativity of others instead of comparing it to yourself. Marvel in their choice of color or creation of silhouette and take mental notes or take photographs so you can apply them to yourself later.
  2. Realise that what you are wearing is perfect for you in this moment. You choose your outfit carefully and this outfit is right for you right now.
  3. If you feel, you could have done better after seeing great style on others, accept it as a learning opportunity. Accept that you did the best you could right now and that you are still on a learning journey when it comes to your style. See the challenge of improving your style as a positive learning experience and compliment yourself on the progress you have already made.
  4. Determine what is more important to you. Do you always want to be the most modern in the latest fashions or do you prefer to create a more classic and timeless look with fewer items. If it’s the latter, then accept that you cannot always be the hippest at a party.
  5. Truly understand your own style and your own body. What works for others often does not work for you. Your body type may ask for a different silhouette and your style personality may be too timid for those bright colors. When you are confident with knowing what your style is and what works for you, you will feel more secure about your own outfit and will find you compare yourself less to others. (My style course will help with this.)

How about you? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you have any tips to do this less and be happy with where you are right now?

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Feature image by Shelbee

Sylvia

Sylvia is 40+style’s editor-in-chief and has been helping women find their unique style since 2011. An alumni of the School of Color and Design, she is devoted to empowering women of any age to look and feel their best. Read more about Sylvia and 40+style on this page.

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