How much do you adapt your style to the people around you?

by Sylvia

How much do you adapt your style to the people around you? |

As I’m going through the first 4 steps of the 21 Steps to a More Stylish You style course with the participants, it’s clear that many women struggle with adapting their clothes to their environment.

How much do you adapt, if at all? 

On the one hand, you want to stay true to your style and show your unique personality. On the other you may want to fit in and not stand out too much which may mean that you dress more casually or in more neutral tones than you may otherwise have done. I have already written about the latter in my article Why do we all want to blend in so much so you may like to go there after reading this article.

How much should you adapt your clothes to your environment or the people you meet?

It’s very normal to adapt your clothes to your environment or the people you meet. I noticed for example how my style changed with every country I lived in.

You often see that girlfriends are dressed in a similar way too.

I often take into account who I’m meeting and may dress a bit more colorful or a bit more arty. For example when I knew I was going to meet women like Sue Kreitzman and Diana Gabriel, I want to make an extra effort to embrace color and print.

Embracing color and print |

Notice how I blend right in! This is definitely a bit more colorful than I usually dress, but these items are still from my wardrobe and pieces I love, even though I normally would not combine them together.

Here is that same pant which I wore for a gathering of style club members in LA. This is totally true to my style. A bit of asymmetry, a bit of color, paired with a statement necklace and fabulous shoes. Note how we all ended up mostly solid color on top with quite a lot of neutral thrown in.

Embracing solid colors |

When I met up with Rosemond to go for dinner in Los Angeles, we both had the same idea of wearing pants and a top. Even though I’m a bit more dressed up than her.

I did not completely adapt to Susan’s style which I know is more neutral. Still we blend in quite well together as we both embrace big sunglasses and accessories.

Embracing sunglasses and accessories |

It’s funny how every time I meet Teresa we always end up in a similar look blending right in. Even though we never discuss outfits beforehand and colors are always totally different.

Combining hues of yellow and print |

Looks like we are all got the memo for a printed top for the Style Club meetup in New York.

How girlfriends dress alike - Embracing printed tops and statement necklaces |

Definitely blended right in with these colorful ladies Leslie and Dayle.

Embracing print and color |

Pure coincidence that we ended up looking very similar in this meetup, although I know that Diana loves to wear black and white every now and then.

Graphical in black and white |

The trick though is to not be a complete chameleon so that you can stay true to your style. Even though I dressed with the people I was meeting in mind, I still dressed completely true to me.

How to dress more polished when you live in a very casual environment?

If you live in a very casual environment, it’s tempting to just blend in and dress in a very casual and neutral way.

However, if you start blending in too much and just adapt completely to your environment, you also lose touch with yourself if that casual style does not reflect who you are.

Let’t use myself as an example.

I’m often (one of) the best least casual people in the room. Last week I went to a business conference with predominantly men in attendance, whose dress code was t-shirt and jeans.

I instead opted for my crop flare jeans or cropped pants in black or white with an arty top and a nice jacket. I wore jewelry on all days and wasn’t afraid to wear color too.

Did I stand out? For sure. Was I staying true to myself and totally ok with that? Absolutely!

Of course I adapted a little bit to my environment as well. I did not wear my most colorful or trendy clothes. But my ‘blending in’ didn’t take me away from my own style. If I had gone too far in that regard and just opted for the blend t-shirt and jeans that most wore, I would not have felt like myself, which would not have allowed me to shine.

How to get the confidence to stay true to yourself?

Staying true to yourself is a process. You may find yourself a little bit uncomfortable at first when you are wearing a statement necklace and you don’t see any other women in the room wearing any kind of jewelry.

So take baby steps at first. Start adding just one little accessory to the grocery store or an informal meetup. Once you’re totally comfortable with that, you can take it up a notch by wearing a colorful top.

You will find that people will just start accepting you for who you are and even take delight in the fact that you’re just putting a little bit more effort into your everyday outfit.

If you’re not sure what your true style is or if you want a little help with getting comfortable with your style, you will love my 21 Steps to a More Stylish You Course. Right now we are doing it live and for only a few days more, you can take advantage of our payment instalment plan.

How much do you adapt your clothes to friends you are meeting?

Photography of photos 1,2,6,8,9 by Denton Taylor

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Denton Taylor

This was a great article and NYC fashion rocks 🙂



It sure does Denton!



I agree with you. There is a balance point between blend in and stand out. Hopefully it is the real ‘me’.



Yes, not always easy to find the right balance…


Diana Gabriel

What fun to read your style advice and see these fabulous women in fabulous attire. Also big fun to see myself included in this great company. Thank you Sylvia.



Had such a good time in New York Diana and spending time with you. Such a shame you’re so far away.


Diana Gsbriel

Yes we live at a great distance but have these magic devices that keep us connected. Then there’s Denton Taylor who is another link in our chain. Know you will return to NYC to visit with us again. It’s amazing to me that style has greated a web of wonderful people around the world. I love being a part of it.


Janice Bird

I love your site Sylvia & the wonderful style advice you & the other beautiful women share.
I recently went to a night in the city with a group of almost all young women. I dressed to blend in knowing they would likely be wearing dresses, I bought a simple well cut maxi dress to wear & wore no jewellery or pops of colour. I ended up spending the night feeling out of place and plain. When I saw the group photo that was taken of us it confirmed how I felt about myself, I looked like I just blended into the surroundings. It was a lesson learned. I need to follow my instincts, I can dress to fit in but I can still let my own style shine.



Great to read you enjoy the site Janice. Thanks for sharing your story. A great lesson to learn!



First thing that popped my mind was : no. I stay true to my style. But…..I do addapt. When I’m going to a meeting of my volunteer work, I keep it a bit low profile, casual but not jeans, sweater, sneaker kind a casual. When we visit family, I dress not to sexy. But otherwise I dress how I feel!



Yes we adapt in all kinds of subtle ways 🙂



Thanks Sylvia for this post. I seem to stay pretty true to myself and usually am the one who is styled up a bit more in a room but I’m ok with it. You’re right about how people will get use to you representing your true self.



They do and they will love you for it!


Ruth Anya Kalu

Thanks for this !I love it 🙂



Glad you enjoyed the article Ruth!



I love this article. The photos are fabulous and if these women are influenced by each other I say bring more! I found that after I retired I adopted a much too casual style which was no longer true to myself. Part of the problem was the lack of local shopping options and a region where recreation, farming and a university set the work clothes/casual style for most people. I now wear a classic american style with a few current trends each season. I am often more dressed up than others without standing out too much. Sometimes our friends and community can inspire our style and that’s OK with me as long as I know my style and dress in what makes me happy.



Good realisation Elaine and great to read you found the right balance!



Those photos were very good illustrationsof your points. I do take into account who I will be meeting that day but I always stay myself. The only thing is, I am like a chameleon. You mentioned that word too. I like so many styles (I often say I am all over the place). When I am in Haarlem or Amsterdam I tend to wear a lot of trousers, mostly jeans. When I visited Maastricht I felt totally underdressed and corrected that immediately (I will be paying back into my savings account till March…). I bought more elegant clothes. And that is me too. I just lost track of this part of me because my surroundings are not elegant. Difficult point.



It was surprisingly easy to find the images. I wanted to write about this topic, then browsed through my images of the last few months and found so many great examples! It’s very natural to adapt a bit to your environment. We all do it. I find myself making slight adaptions to each city I spend a bit of time in.


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