Fashion, Style & Beauty Forum

A reader, Cristina, asked a question after reading my article on how to find your style in 10 steps. http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-find-your-own-style-in-10-steps/

This was her question:

I struggle with something.... My style over the past 5 yrs has changed dramtaically especially due to my life changes (from office girl to working from home mother of 2 kids)

Which is the way to go? Accept who I am now, or try some changes to feel different?

Since this is a great question and would benefit others as well, I thought I answer it here in the forum as a new topic. That way others can contribute their answers as well.

My answer will be directly to Cristina and here is what I think.

The fact that you are bringing this up with me is a sign that you are not completely happy with this situation. Very often you can get yourself into a style rut after getting children. Although you may be feeling (partly) comfortable with that, I think it will backfire in the end. I personally believe it is important to still be paying (a lot of) intention to yourself when you are a mother.

I strongly believe in the connection between looking good and feeling great and I think it would give you a boost if you looked better while going outside in nicer clothes. Especially when you are a mother, it is important to make time for yourself and don't lose yourself into motherhood. Believe me, I'm talking from experience! I know that many older women regret later on that they totally neglected themselves when they were looking after their family.

My suggestion for you would be to find a balance. You can still wear your shorts and t-shirts in the house, but make a bit more of an effort when going outside. No flip flops allowed. It does not have to be anything fancy. Just some nice cotton pants and top will do and there are lots of great sandals you could wear. Keep it practical, but also make it look more interesting than your in-the-house wear.

I hope you are also planning evening outs for yourself (so important!). In that case wear some heels and a nice dress.

I truly believe that it can make a difference in how you feel. It's important that you as a woman still gets to be seen for what you are, which is not just a mother, but all the other aspects of you as well.

I hope this site can help you to find your style grove back!

Hi Cristina, Welcome to the forum. Great to read that you are taking evenings out with your husband! At least that will give you some time to wear your high heels. Yes, just try to add some new practical but stylish clothes 1 at the time. Perhaps getting a good pair of stylish, but practical outside shoes may be a good start.

I'm planning a series on wardrobe editing shortly, so that may help you as well.

I look forward to connecting with you more on the site.

I share some of the feelings expressed here. Since my office is so casual, and I have ruined several nicer tops at my work, I am thinking of trying less expensive brands of clothing for work. I'm considering buying some clothes online from LL Bean and/or Lands End. I think I might initially need to buy 2 different sizes. I saw a skirt I like at LL Bean, but my waist is larger than the measurements for the skirt.

I feel for Mom's they can be so busy. When my sister's kids were young, my sister was busy taking her kids to a lot of activities when they got home from school.

I am wondering if I spend more time on my makeup, perhaps I can feel better when I wear less expensive clothes. My clothing budget needs to decrease. I also might buy a few pairs of earrings. I am 5'4" and I feel overwhelmed in some of the necklaces that some people wear.