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Author Topic: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
Sylvia
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Posts: 664
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Post Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: August 17, 2012, 14:18
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A reader, Cristina, asked a question after reading my article on how to find your style in 10 steps. http://40plusstyle.com/how-to-find-your-own-style-in-10-steps/

This was her question:

I struggle with something.... My style over the past 5 yrs has changed dramtaically especially due to my life changes (from office girl to working from home mother of 2 kids)

I now find myself most often in shorts/tshirt and flip flops...

I like it but then I will go out and see some fancy dressed women and wish I had made more of an effort...

Which is the way to go? Accept who I am now, or try some changes to feel different?

Since this is a great question and would benefit others as well, I thought I answer it here in the forum as a new topic. That way others can contribute their answers as well.

My answer will be directly to Cristina and here is what I think.

The fact that you are bringing this up with me is a sign that you are not completely happy with this situation. Very often you can get yourself into a style rut after getting children. Although you may be feeling (partly) comfortable with that, I think it will backfire in the end. I personally believe it is important to still be paying (a lot of) intention to yourself when you are a mother.

I strongly believe in the connection between looking good and feeling great and I think it would give you a boost if you looked better while going outside in nicer clothes. Especially when you are a mother, it is important to make time for yourself and don't lose yourself into motherhood. Believe me, I'm talking from experience! I know that many older women regret later on that they totally neglected themselves when they were looking after their family.

My suggestion for you would be to find a balance. You can still wear your shorts and t-shirts in the house, but make a bit more of an effort when going outside. No flip flops allowed. It does not have to be anything fancy. Just some nice cotton pants and top will do and there are lots of great sandals you could wear. Keep it practical, but also make it look more interesting than your in-the-house wear.

I hope you are also planning evening outs for yourself (so important!). In that case wear some heels and a nice dress.

I truly believe that it can make a difference in how you feel. It's important that you as a woman still gets to be seen for what you are, which is not just a mother, but all the other aspects of you as well.

I hope this site can help you to find your style grove back!

kri
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Posts: 2
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Post Re: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: August 17, 2012, 15:33
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Thanks a lot :) I registered as this is such a great site!

I think your opinion is spot on and I guess I have been feeling somewhat unhappy and "sloppy"

I am also not so good at having "home wear" and "outside wear" which likely means I end up going outside in my home wear... :(

I feel right now like my whole wardrobe is wrong, with stuff that does not fit my lifestyle anymore and am going through a bit of an overhaul... but of course have to do it slowly as am not a millionaire :)

Shoes especially are a nightmare... have all these high heels fancy shoes that I cannot ear with my current lifestyle....

So... change ahead!

And yes, hubby and I do make time to go out, it is great when we do :)

Thanks again and I am hooked :)

Sylvia
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Posts: 664
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Post Re: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: August 17, 2012, 21:33
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Hi Cristina, Welcome to the forum. Great to read that you are taking evenings out with your husband! At least that will give you some time to wear your high heels. Yes, just try to add some new practical but stylish clothes 1 at the time. Perhaps getting a good pair of stylish, but practical outside shoes may be a good start.

I'm planning a series on wardrobe editing shortly, so that may help you as well.

I look forward to connecting with you more on the site.

Greetje
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Posts: 1003
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Post Re: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: August 18, 2012, 00:15
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It is always difficult to get the right items if you have little time. With a passion for fashion, you don't experience looking around and trying things on, as hard work but as a hobby. And than it is far easier to find the right clothes and shoes.
You might get inspiration from all the outfits that we share, but how to find them in your neighbourhood? Do you like clothes shopping? Or hate it? Do you have friends that like it?

http://www.nofearoffashion.com

Laurie
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Posts: 99
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Post Re: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: January 6, 2013, 01:04
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I share some of the feelings expressed here. Since my office is so casual, and I have ruined several nicer tops at my work, I am thinking of trying less expensive brands of clothing for work. I'm considering buying some clothes online from LL Bean and/or Lands End. I think I might initially need to buy 2 different sizes. I saw a skirt I like at LL Bean, but my waist is larger than the measurements for the skirt.

I feel for Mom's they can be so busy. When my sister's kids were young, my sister was busy taking her kids to a lot of activities when they got home from school.

I am wondering if I spend more time on my makeup, perhaps I can feel better when I wear less expensive clothes. My clothing budget needs to decrease. I also might buy a few pairs of earrings. I am 5'4" and I feel overwhelmed in some of the necklaces that some people wear.

Laurie
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Posts: 99
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Post Re: Do you just have to accept that you are in a style rut?
on: January 6, 2013, 01:06
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I do like scarves, if I buy one or two thinner scarves (not heavier "outdoor scarves" that could also add some flair.

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